12 Weeks {enter something witty here}

My babies are 12 weeks and will be 3 months this week! WHAT?!?! My first instinct is to say "wow, where has the time gone?" And then I stop and think that these last 3 months are a weird mix of time going incredibly fast... and incredibly slow. I think I've decided the days (and especially nights) are slow, but the weeks and months are fast. I'm not sure if that even makes sense, but it does in my mind.

I constantly battle with myself whether I am loving that they are growing older or that I am sad about it. I think the general consensus is that each new day and week brings a new discovery, ability, or expression that makes my heart melt and brings so much excitement and happiness. And let's be honest, it has been hard. I mean really, really hard. I am more grateful for Max and Clara than I can ever explain, but that doesn't mean having two newborns is any easier because of it.

There have been days that feeding myself deserves a pat on the back. I still haven't really cooked a meal (and I don't think Kraft Mac N' Cheese counts). I have spilt a bag of breast milk twice now, and both times has brought me to tears. Whoever said "don't cry over spilled milk" never pumped exclusively for twins. Goodness. We are still struggling to get sleep, and hence walk around like mega zombies (and NO! twins don't just magically get on the same schedule, since I seem to be asked that almost daily). Anyway, the point is, it's been rough, but it's also been so, so beautiful and wonderful. Max and Clara are my world. I know the future isn't going to get easier per se, but I am pretty confident more sleep can only help. :)

I just love how as these little guys squirm and kick around their little feet turn up like that. It makes me smile.